Light Refreshments Served

It’s Friday, which means we welcome another guest blogger. This is Lorinda, and she is funny!

My name is Lorinda. I grew up in South Carolina, lived in Utah for the first 10 years of my marriage and now live in Savannah, Georgia. I am a mother to five. I have three teenagers (one awaiting his mission papers), a 7- and 9-year-old. And… I love to blog.  Her blog is here.

1. If I was… I mean, If some random mother was… caught text messaging while my… I mean someone’s 16 year old son was teaching the Family Home Evening lesson, does that mean:
a) she had something very important to discuss with her sister and it couldn’t wait
b) she’s a bad example…very, very bad example
c) this mom has maturity issues
d) this mom was just showing the 16-year-old what NOT to do when others are trying to teach Family Home Evening

2. If I had ‘words’ with my teenage daughter and it ended in a huff and I ran into my room and slammed the door and turned up the radio as high as it would go, does this mean:
(did I say I? I meant, ‘a mother’)
a) this mom was in a hurry to go listen to music
b) this mom just likes loud music and the wind blew her door shut, no really
c) this mom has maturity issues
d) this mom just wanted to beat her daughter at her own game

3. If some mother (and this has never happened to me yesterday) went in her room to “read” and to “hide and eat candy” and her kids came in to talk and discovered it under the covers and she STILL tried to keep the candy for herself, does this mean:
a) her health depended on her getting all those servings of peanut butter cups
b) this mom has sharing issues
c) this mom shares EVERYTHING and she just wanted a little something to herself
d) this mom was looking for the ‘talk on sharing’ by her 16-year-old son, just to test him and make sure she taught him well

4. If, when a teenage daughter is pouting in her room with the music turned up as high as her CD player will go, and her mom pushes open the door with her bum and backs into the room shaking her booty, does this mean:
a) she just took the opportunity to Jazz-ercise
b) her daughter always invites her into her room for some dancin’- they’re cool like that
c) listen, this mom just can’t help it, when she hears music, she dances!
d) if mom dancing in your room makes you not want to play your music so loud, then mom made her point

5. If, when a fad takes over a teenagers common sense and then mom either walks around for the day with her pants below her bum or her bangs hanging over one eye, or whatever, does that mean:
a) this mom just wants to be hip
b) this mom can’t accept she’s 38
c) she admired her kids fashion statements
d) this mom is fighting fire with fire

Answers
1. Is D. D as in DUH, what mom would get caught texting unless she was trying to teach a lesson. Psht.
2. D again. As in duh again, because really, it’s called ‘taking away their thunder’ and sometimes you just need to.
3. D of course. As in duh of course. I was just testing him. Really. And he passed. He gave a very good speech on sharing and that’s all I wanted to hear. It’s called reassurance that he’s listening and learning.
4. D. Duh. And a little bit of C, but whatever…..
5. D- uhhhhh, nothing will ruin a fashion statement faster than mom doing it. Trust me, it works every time. Heavens help me the day I have to get a mohawk.