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Remember how I said I was going to stop talking about moving? I lied. I didn’t mean to, it’s just that I didn’t factor in the topic of moving my food storage, and I can’t seem to let it go. First of all, I don’t even know how much food storage we really have. A few days? A couple of weeks? Months? I don’t really know. All I know is that it took two days and a roll of packing tape to box it all up, that it was heavy, and that I had just as many cake mixes as pounds of wheat - I make no apology for that. However, I fear that any preparedness points I may have earned by filling dozens of boxes with rice and beans might have been lost by compromising the health of priesthood holders everywhere for making them haul my goods into a truck laden with dehydrated carrots and powdered milk. Sorry. I’ll talk to your bishop and see if he can cut your tithing down to 8% this month so you can pay your chiropractor.
Speaking of the bishop, I kept waiting for him to call and say, “How’s packing going?” so I could say, “Well, with all this food storage it’s taking forEVER!” Then his final thoughts of me before leaving the ward would be about my dedication and obedience to provident living, and maybe he could put in a good word for me when I need help getting out of hell.
And while I’m not on the topic about moving, did I mention that my house is in the boonies? Seriously, I think you can see the Kansas border from my kitchen. So, I haven’t worried too much about the fact that we have no window coverings yet. And I still wasn’t worried about it until my dad went to use the bathroom and shortly thereafter my new neighbor showed up with some temporary paper blinds that she thought I might like to use. Coincidence??? I. Don’t. Think so.
Meanwhile, we attended our first Sunday in our new ward and filled out the new member resume questionnaire. This is the form they give you to make you think that they really want to get to know you, but let’s be honest. They want to know what you can do. Are you the kind of person that regards hymn book stacking in Relief Society as a busy calling or the kind who successfully organizes a 5-course meal for 400 people at Christmastime on a fifty dollar budget? I am neither. I never know what to write on these things, and not just because they give you an inch of space to describe all of your skills and interests, but because it labels you from the very beginning and can be misleading. Just because I worked in Primary for a couple of years doesn’t mean I’m good with kids, you know what I mean?
I guess I’ll just have to wait and see if they actually read those things. If I get called as the ward bow hunting specialist, I’ll have my answer.
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Lisa says: Once people see you moving your stuff it, they're totally going to call you as an Enrichment teacher. You'll be asked to teach a class on 101 things to do with a box of cake mix.
Emily says: In the workplace, they advise you to tailor your resume to the position for which you are applying. So if you want to serve in the nursery, say something about how much you love the Lord's littlest Saints. (If the thought of serving in the nursery makes you physically ill, you're just not old enough to have grandchildren yet.) As for the food storage cake mixes, I believe that the post-Apocalyptic equivalent of gold, in terms of currency, will be sugar. So no apology necessary. Besides, they're WAY easier to rotate than those dehydrated carrots.