Light Refreshments Served

A conversation I recently had with my 12-year-old daughter: 

Daughter:  “Mom, you need to remind me to read every day.”

Me:  “I just reminded you to read today and you ignored me.”

Daughter:  “Well, that’s because I didn’t feel like it.”

Me:  “Tell you what.  The next time you find yourself watching too much TV, turn it off and go read your book.  This is me reminding you.”

Daughter:  “Some moms force their kids to read.  Like Megan’s mom?  She made Megan read before letting her go to the carnival with us.”

Me:  “That’s because Megan’s mom is a better mom than I am.”

Daughter:  “Weeelllll, you can improve!”

I am publishing  this for two reasons.  First, the day is going to come when my daughter will complain that I nag her too much.  She will be 15 and leaving the house wearing plaid tights and a polka dot skirt with green boots in the name of fashion and I’ll say, “Honey, remember who you are and what you stand for.  And by the way it’s not green boots.  Remember to practice your flute.”  And she’ll be all, “MooooooM!  I KNOW!  I’m FIFTEEN.  You don’t need to nag me all the time.  And the green boots are cool, it’s your navy cardigan that’s lame.”  And I’ll say, “Remember when you were 12 and told me to remind you more often?  So, I’m only doing this because you asked me to.”  And she’ll go, “I never said that.”  And I’ll say, “Remember that website I used to blog for before they became famous and replaced me with a real writer?  Well check THIS out.”  And I’ll go to these archives and show her what she said on August 21, 2008.  And I’ll win.

The second reason I am publishing this is because I want anyone else out there who has given up on self improvement to know that I have a 12-year-old for hire who would be willing to come to your home and help you realize where your needs for improvement lie.  No more need for books or Dr. Phil, she will tell you like it is.  She’s going to get into bad fashion soon, which can be costly, so we need the money.