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Tonight is Bunco night. I was assigned to bring wine. Oh right, and while you’re at it? Why don’t you ask your Amish friend Rebecca to go pick out something nice to wear to the dance? I managed to switch with someone bringing food, and promised to make it really good to try and make up for the fact that I am “alcohol challenged.” Uh, wait. That didn’t come out right. What I mean is that I tried to make my request to switch sound more like “The New Girl wouldn’t know the first thing about choosing a good wine” and a little less like “Did you know I’m a Mormon? Would you like a copy of the Bible? I could bring it with me and we could read scriptures in between rolls of the dice just to prove that you don’t have to drink to have fun. Would you like to come to church with me on Sunday? I could show you the nursery. That’s where we keep the snacks.”
You might say I’m having RSVP remorse. This kind of thing, a.k.a. being social and friendly with strangers, is really outside my comfort zone. I’m picturing a bunch of women tossing back a few drinks, complaining about their marriages, rolling the dice and hollering an inebriated “Bunco!” after a good roll. It’s very “Desperate Housewives”, and I can’t exactly figure out which brain cell went dead on me when I replied to the group email with an affirmative RSVP. After I clicked “Send” I thought to myself, “Are you CrAzY? You realize you could stay home and watch Hope Floats on the Oxygen channel in your underwear with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, right?”
Ugh. Does anyone else want to volunteer to eat Nutella in their underwear tonight in my honor? It’s the only thing that will make this right. At least I made an awesome dessert:
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Kacy says: I told you Bunco was a mistake. I didn't know it was non-Mormon bunco. Now it's total blog fodder! Go see how the other half lives. And then write us a blog about it. PS Non-Mormons play bunco?
Rachel says: You have pre-friendship anxiety! I am very familiar with this feeling. It is how I know that I'm truly an introvert even though I try to fake extrovert all the time: I get kind of bugged before I get together with friends. I really would rather be home alone! It's pathetic. Admitting it is the first step to recovery?
Lisa says: Nutella? Anything I can do to help.