Light Refreshments Served

Maturation Program: Use Deodorant

Lisa November 22nd, 2008 5th grade maturation program   deodorant   puberty

I went to Miles’ Maturation Program at school which consisted of the coach from the middle school coming to explain to a room of pre-pubescent 5th grade boys and their parents changes that will soon happen to their bodies through several sports analogies.  This was a really difficult social setting for me because I counted seven really funny but inappropriate things to say at just the perfect time, but I didn’t.  I didn’t want to embarrass Miles, so I controlled myself.  I know it’s awful to brag about funny things you were going to say, but didn’t, and then not share them, but it’s 5th grade humor and if we’re asking the boys to control themselves, I think I can show a little restraint.  Besides, the moments have passed.  I figured it was a small price to pay to get, you know, “the word out.”

I was prepared for the big sex talk in this maturation program, but was surprised at how sterile it was (pun intended).  Talk about taking the “sex” out of “sex education!”  When the discussion got to anything like that it was “your parents will need to talk to you about that” or “ask your parents about this.”  Like I don’t have enough to do!  Or enough awkward conversations!  The overall theme of the program turned out to be “using deodorant.”  It was a really well-covered area.  How much to use, when, how important it is, how much you’ll smell if you don’t, etc.  and then the speaker handed out deodorant.  And told them to wash their hands a lot and brush their teeth.  

Call me old-fashioned, but when did the “Maturation Program” turn into a plain old push for personal hygiene?  Aren’t we supposed to be talking about. . .uh hem. . .things I’m uncomfortable talking about with my 5th grader or blogging about on my lady blog?  

Looking on the bright side, Miles should really be using deodorant and should be brushing his teeth and washing his hands more than he is.  It’s nice when someone else nags him about the importance of doing those things.  It really does take a village.  A nice, clean, sweet-smelling village.

Kristy says: Since when is it called a "Maturation Program?" Do they have it for adults? I got a few names of people who could use this....

1. Thora says:
   
   November 22nd, 2008 at 3:24 pm

   I once dated a guy in college who didn’t know what actually happened in menstration (ie, lose blood). (He also did not know that bras served a functional purpose). He only had a brother, and apparently their mother had never had a talk with them about maturation in girls, and his school must have been of the “use deodorant” type. His now wife aught to thank me for setting him straight.

   Of course, your going with Miles to his school’s program means that you’re already involved enough that I’m sure in due course you’ll be able to get all the awkward conversations out.

2. Angela says:
   
   November 22nd, 2008 at 5:48 pm

   I would always hide the invitations to the maturation programs. I had absolutely no desire to go or grow up. My friends would fill me in on what I missed and I was glad I didn’t go.
   I’m really torn about it as a mother. I don’t want to have to talk about it, but I’m pretty sure I don’t want the school to do it either.

3. jooshanoosh says:
   
   November 22nd, 2008 at 6:03 pm

   Shouldn’t Miles maturation program be Chris’ domain? I remember the night of my maturation program my Dad had something in Salt Lake he had to go to for work so he took me with him to that and then we went out to dinner after. I remember the whole drive home just sitting there in the dark, petrified, that my Dad would initiate “The Talk” He didn’t. Now that I am a Dad, I wonder if he was sitting there, petrified, that I might ask about it.

4. Veronica says:
   
   November 23rd, 2008 at 10:42 am

   My two oldest have been through the Maturation Program at our school. But lucky for me they are boys and they only want my husband there. From what I’ve heard, 5th grade is the “warm-up” where they cover hygiene and all the less awkward stuff. In 6th grade they get a little more specific. It might not be that way at other schools but that has been our (my husbands) experience thus far. So look out for next year!

5. superpaige says:
   
   November 23rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm

   Oh, I WISH it were a nice, clean, sweet smelling village. But once those boys hit about 11, the sweet smell goes out the window, and we’re left with stinky boy smell. Even deoderant can’t stop it.

6. amylouwho says:
   
   November 23rd, 2008 at 7:34 pm

   I’m glad my baby boy is 10 months old and not 10 years old. I guess I have a few years to gear up for this.

7. christy says:
   
   November 24th, 2008 at 8:40 am

   In our district 5th grade is the warm up and 6th grade is the real deal. Well… even in 6th grade our district has it really toned down. I went to the parent preview for the 6th grade and I was amazed at how tactfully they handled everything. If the kids ask about the “act” they are directed to ask their parents, which is where they should be getting the info in the first place. We bought a book from Deseret Book called “Growing Up” by Brad Wilcox. It’s fantastic and my hubby read it with my 14 year old son, cover to cover before he turned 12. It’s my turn next with our daughter who turns 12 in Feb. Good thing for me… we only have 1 girl, so I only have to read the book once… hubby has to read it 3 times with the boys!

8. Carlimac says:
   
   November 24th, 2008 at 12:21 pm

   Oh boy! As the mother of many kids and living far from my sheltered youth in Utah half a continent away, I’ve learned that a straight shot is probably a better approach. In 4th grade kids in these schools get the basic mechanics of “human reproduction” in their classrooms. It’s just another subject taught by their everyday teacher to the whole class at once (boys and girls together). While I thought my own kids would curl up and die of embarrassment… not so. They actually survived the experience and finally started to believe what we’d been telling them all along (as if hearing it from their teacher adds credibility to the story. LOL) AND my oldest son got 100% on the written test to boot.

9. EmmyB says:
   
   November 25th, 2008 at 3:27 pm

   I knew NOTHING about periods or menstruating or ANYTHING before our 5th Grade Maturation Program. I am only 32, but our school nurse at the time still wore the little white dress with the white square hat. We watched a video where the girls have a slumber party and one of the girls starts her period. So, the next morning, the Dad makes uterus pancakes and explains ovulation. As if that wasn’t scary enough, our nurse then held up one of the “belts” from the 50s with the pad on it. Then she explained that only “bad girls” wear tampons. And I was just thinking to myself, “Why? And what exactly are tampons?” It was a horrifying experience. My mom sat next to me and laughed and explained that it wasn’t like this at all. When we got home, I guess she came to the same realization as you: You really can’t count on the school to “cover” this kind of stuff. I do remember walking out of there and asking my mom what the boys talked about. Her response: “I don’t know…deodorant.”

10. LeonaBea says:
    
    November 28th, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    My 5th grader would have been mortified had I attended with him. This was definitely a dad thing. My hubby said all of the dad from our ward grouped together and had a difficult time looking each other in the eye prior to the discussion. Oh to have been a fly on the wall!

    After they got home, my son told me that the discussion had been “PG” but dad gave him the “R” verson in the car afterward.

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