Around 6:00 tonight 48 little men wielding pickaxes crawled into my brain and started swinging around, so I responded appropriately and announced my bedtime. Now it’s 1:30 in the morning, the little men have set their weapons down, and I’ve basically had a full night’s rest. I debate: Watch the “Lake House” on DVR, or blog? Blogging wins, but I’ve got all night. Keanu Reeves and I, we’ll talk later.
Wanna talk about my feelings? Let’s do that. Discussing my emotions at one in the morning – it’ll be almost like seeing me drunk. So, we’ve been in our new home for almost four months now. Cory never skipped a beat, and the kids seem to be doing better all the time. Just a few days ago Drew told me about how Anthony is kind of his best friend in the neighborhood, and while he’s still enormously put out that he doesn’t get to see his old friend Ben every day, he’s making peace with it. Samantha confided that she is much happier at church since there are so many girls her age. It helps that these girls have been AWESOME to her, a fact that I hope to show gratitude for soon in the name of late night parties at our house where I will make them tons of good food and show them how to dance. Okay, maybe not that last part.
But here is the thing. [Buckle up.] I have very little experience with this, and it turns out I totally suck at it. I never moved growing up, and out of our 15 years of marriage we spent 14 years in the same ward. Even in college I rarely moved because my parents owned a condo (Hello, Provo? We have 7 kids, and they all go to your school, and we’re tired of trying to find them a place to live every 4 months) that I lived in for 3 out of my 4 years there. So yes, I’m totally out of my element.
It’s not that I didn’t have a plan, either. “Be yourself,” was my mantra. But see, this isn’t always good advice. Particularly for people like me, because me being myself means I show up at the bus stop where all the other neighborhood moms gather first thing in the morning – me in my pajamas, they in their sporty gear getting ready to walk their dogs. The Crazy Lady On The Corner just got a new puppy and can’t wait to tell us how old she is, where she got her, what she eats, how much she’s sleeping, when she poops, what color it is, and me being myself thinks it would be a funny time to show how much I care by saying, “Yeah well, if all dogs go to heaven I’m holding out for hell.” You can see why I struggle to make friends.
The other thing: Meeting people at church is like being on a perpetual first date, and dating was incredibly awkward for me so this is not good news. I meet someone, they seem fun and interesting, and then I never see them again. They never call, they never write. [cue: violins] Having a calling is very helpful, but even though I’ve met some great people through Primary, I feel totally useless. “Can you take this boy to his mom? He doesn’t feel good.” “Absolutely!” I oblige. “Who is he? Who’s his mom? Is she in Relief Society or Young Women’s? Dark hair or blonde? Tall or short? Does she use a diaper bag or a purse? What’s her stance on sleepovers and caffeinated drinks?” By the time they’ve answered all my questions this kid could be in a car on his way home to watch “Blue’s Clues”.
We had tithing settlement today with the Bishop. He was quick with inquiries:
“So, how are you guys doing today?”
“Terrible,” Drew said before he even finished.
“Oh, well how’s your new school?”
“Bad,” he replied without giving pause.
The Bishop maintained a casual stare and tried not to show any outward concern, but I was like, “President Hinckley’s 7 B’s? You know the one, ‘Be Positive’? See, that’s TOMORROW night’s family night. We haven’t done that one yet, so he doesn’t know any better. I mean we HAVE it, the 7 B’s in their vinyl lettering hanging from a ribbon in our family room, but it’s to the side so it doesn’t get in the way of the TV, and…we…uh…we’re gonna MOVE that to hang OVER the TV from now on, so he can see it when he’s watching ‘Drake & Josh’, you know, so he’ll understand where our priorities are.”
Me and Drew, making friends and being positive. I’m going to bed now – something tells me I’m going to regret this in the morning.
But really, I do.
)
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Emily says: Join the ward choir. People are so grateful to have another voice there, it's easy and fun, and it's less taxing on the social scale than Enrichment Night because there's sociability but not a ton of time for chatter. And people sit in their sections rather than clustering at tables with their friends.