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Don’t. You. Dare.
Kristy
Kristy
April 1st, 2009

Don’t you dare tell me how great this is going to be. 

Don’t you dare share with me how there was a nine year gap between you and one of YOUR siblings and you are now the best of friends.

I am 38 years old, and I am very much past this stage of my life.  Don’t you dare tell me how you were older than I am and you did fine, despite that whole “advanced maternal age” crap that the doctors are constantly throwing in your face.

Don’t you dare tell me how this is going to make for great blogging.

And DON’T. YOU. EVEN. try to convince me that this is somehow going to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, because all that’s going to do is remind me how well you don’t know me, and what I need the most right now is friends, imaginary or otherwise.

Tell me that you’re sorry, and that you will come babysit anytime I want for as long as necessary.  (Dear Mom:  Good news!  I’m moving you to Colorado indefinitely!)

Finally, don’t you even forget to check your calendar today – it will help all of this make sense.  Please don’t hate me.  Mwah!

26 Responses to “Don’t. You. Dare.”
  1. JoFo says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 8:13 am

    oh, how I wish this were true! You had me going for a minute there.

  2. randajoy says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Ah! The old I’m pregnant card, huh? …It totally got me.

  3. cannonlorie says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 8:26 am

    My heart was totally pounding…you are lucky I finished reading before picking up the phone. Good one!

  4. Beverly says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 8:27 am

    I pulled this on my husband a couple of months after our 4th child was born (the oldest had just turned 5). He almost had a coronary!! It was the best I’ve ever been able to pull on him. I still laugh about it, though he didn’t think it was funny then and doesn’t now. Guess those postpartum hormones were still running rampant.

  5. Dix says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 8:39 am

    This is actually Lynn “MOM”….retired people never know what day it is…you really had me!

  6. Kristy says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Don’t worry mom, if this was real news I promise I’d tell you before telling the internet!

  7. angie f says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 9:43 am

    My cousin pulled this on her husband and other family one year. And then a few days later found out she WAS pregnant (seemingly mere moments after the previous sibling was born), but the joke on her got even better when a few weeks later, her little April Fools joke was twins.

  8. suzuyuki says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Definitely funnier than the friend that called me last year to say she had her baby that morning…and I didn’t believe her. Obviously, it was true.

  9. Rillalev says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:16 am

    I did this on my blog this morning with enough success that I am now feeling slightly guilty. But there has to be some advantage to people from my ward (who think I am sweeter than I am) reading my blog, right?

  10. emilylf says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:16 am

    I did the same thing on my blog today. Obviously, I’m not that original.

  11. Carly Noel says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:20 am

    I hate you. I totally believed you.

  12. Kristy2 says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:29 am

    Whew! I was definitely believing it and feeling worried for myself!!! Good one! I was thinking when it rains, it pours for you!

  13. Chelsea says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:36 am

    Wow you had me going!

  14. rinngary89 says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 10:47 am

    If I hadn’t just written such a similar post on my blog, I would have fallen for it! :-D

  15. Emily says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    I believed it too, but mostly because (years ago) I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks after I accepted a call as RS president. I assumed your life was just running in a parallel track to my own.

  16. ABH says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    I just kept thinking “RS president AND this!” wow. Not a good month for Kristy!

  17. talitha says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    Yeah, you got me. Good one!

  18. mormonhermitmom says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Good one. I had to read through the comments to remember what day it was;).

  19. sickalapick says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    Sadly I do this one every year if I am pregnant or not! I get a laugh either way from my family! I guess after 5 kids you earn the right to that joke!

  20. Carlimac says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Well…actually I was older than you and I did just fine (ahem…more or less). AND two of my best friends are my sisters- 7 and 9 years older than me. And sorry, I can’t babysit cause hopefully I’ll soon have my own grandchild to take up my extra (ha-ha) time. And guess what, it HAS been great! 7 years ago TODAY I took a pregnancy test and surprised my husband with two lines when he got home from work. I was 42 and in total shock! Of course he didn’t believe me. He thought I had gotten a friend to help me with a little prank. It honestly hadn’t even occurred to me that it was April Fool’s Day. So when he laughed and said, “Yah right!” I started to cry. He started to get worried. But next November he held our 6th baby, (4th daughter) and fell in love all over again. AND 16 months later he held our 7th. No foolin’!

    By the way, I got your drift by the end of the post but you were pretty convincing. ;-)

    I did get you

  21. grannybabs says:

    April 1st, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    I miss not being in the reproductive years – at least on April Fool’s Day – because it allows you to pull some great pranks!!

    My 4th child was due on April 6th, so on April 1st, my 11 year old son told everyone at school that the baby had come – gave a sex, weight, length and name – and everyone believed him all day – until I showed up at school to pick him up!! The teachers and staff all agreed that it was indeed a well done prank – and Harry was pleased with himself.

    I had babies at 38, 40 and 42 – after a 6 year hiatus – I won’t say it was sublime, but it wasn’t so bad – I did have big kids to help – but my husband has been mistaken for our youngest son’s grandfather his whole life – and that does bother him somewhat!!

    It’s the best April Fool’s post I’ve read yet today!

  22. handsfullmom says:

    April 2nd, 2009 at 7:40 am

    I’m with ABH: “I just kept thinking “RS president AND this!” wow. Not a good month for Kristy!” I was all prepared with how to tell you all those things you didn’t want to hear but needed to anyway, but I guess I don’t have to. I hope you had a great April Fools!

  23. momnstuff says:

    April 2nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    You totally got me. I don’t even know you (outside of LRS), and my stomach was in my toes for you. And this, my friend, is why I HATE April Fool’s Day! :)

  24. Sherise says:

    April 2nd, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    I hate you! I actually had the phone in my hand before I read the last paragraph. Haaaaate you.

  25. mesamom8 says:

    April 6th, 2009 at 12:33 am

    Ok Kristy – I may not know you but I can totally relate. I was RS president when I found out I was pregnant. Surprise! However, I was older than you -44 years old. My oldest son was engaged and my second son was on a mission. I announced to the RS during our “good news in a minute” by saying we had some news in our family – same of us were happy and some of us were crying, and I was the one doing the crying. When I told them I was pregnant I think half the ladies fell out of their seats and the other ladies just gasped. It wasn’t easy being the president, pregnant – then a new mom. My bishop didn’t believe in releases for pregnancies – so I kept on going until he was 1 year old. Good luck. And our surprise baby is the happiest and most loved baby of all my 8 kids – mostly by his siblings. Maybe because he is so much younger than the others. And he became an uncle at 6 months old. Good luck!

  26. mesamom8 says:

    April 6th, 2009 at 12:33 am

    And I didn’t check the calender date – because I looked at this really late. So – I guess you better hope it doesn’t become a reality!

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