« I’m facing the neighbors at a 45 degree angle in my pajamas, sitting on a stool outside with the laptop balancing on one knee as I yell orders to the kids
The Road To Zion »
Guest Post: Aundrea
Chelsea
July 10th, 2009

aundrea

My goal is to have wrinkles that double as smile lines. Reading and writing constitute fun, as does checking stuff off my list. I’m glad to be the wife and mom to the best people in the world! Check out Aundrea’s blog here.

Thoughts on an Empty Nest

I have never been afraid of being an empty-nester, because my best friend in the whole world is my husband. I figure as long as we have each other, it’s OK to have our children grow up and face the world.

I want you to know that I LOVE BEING A MOM! It is the second best thing that has ever happened to me (can you guess the best thing?)! I not only love our children as their mother, but I really LIKE our children. They are talented, good people, and it is a blessing to get to associate with them daily. I have mentioned before that I was a pretty mean mom when they were little; but that has paid off because they are such good people now. I rarely have to be mean (though I’m still willing and very able when it’s necessary).

When we were in the stage of having babies, it sure seemed like they came fast. Boom! We had one. Then boom! we had two. And so on. The same thing happened as they went to kindergarten. It was just one right after the other in quick succession. So I’m kinda figuring that having them graduate from high school is going to be like that.

Even though they all went really fast, they have also taken these steps in their own ways. Briana has been nervous for every new season she’s entered. Taylor, on the other hand, went marching confidently through the doors. Ashtyn just flew along, as she always does, and Landon took the new world by storm.

So, as you might expect, Briana is a little bit hesitant about this adult world she’s entering. She feels that she doesn’t really fit in with the Young Women. But Relief Society doesn’t quite fit, either. She likes her high school job a lot, but she also wants to find something that provides a bit better for her. She’d like to go to college, but she has to have the money to do that; but in order to get the better job, she has to go to college. This is not a new story, except for her.

And I find myself walking a line. There is something instinctive in me that knows that I’m going to have to do a certain amount of pushing for her to “leave the nest,” so to speak. It’s exciting and nerve-racking and wonderful. And there is something else in me that cries, “No! Let me keep my babies! They’re too young! They’re mine!”

Of course, a mother would never want to go to either extreme as she walks that line. I would never EVER want Briana to think or feel for an instant that I am trying to get rid of her–it simply isn’t true! But it would be wrong for me to keep her under my wing when it really is her time to fly. And I know, as her mom, that it is going to take some amount of pushing to get her to go.

*sigh*

The funny part to me is that millions of parents have done this, and they and their children have survived. Briana–and each of the others in their turn–will be just fine. In fact, knowing our children, they will be WONDERFUL. Now if their mother can just survive, everything will be good.

5 Responses to “Guest Post: Aundrea”
  1. mimi says:

    July 10th, 2009 at 6:21 pm

    I. Love. You.

  2. emilylf says:

    July 10th, 2009 at 6:34 pm

    My kids are still little but I find myself thinking about this all the time. I’m terrified of the empty nest. I cried the day I found out my first baby was a boy because I knew some day he would go on a mission and leave me. I know it has to happen and that I’ll have to push it but I’m so glad it’s lots of years away.

  3. grannybabs says:

    July 11th, 2009 at 12:03 am

    It will come much faster than you ever imagined – in fact, it sort of sneaks up on you!

    But it’s actually a nice stage of life – I urge you to embrace it when it comes! (After all, we had these kids to set them on a path to make their own lives – if they stay home too long, we may have failed them!)

  4. Kerri says:

    July 12th, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    I’m the mother of a very confident, likable daughter – my only child – and every step of growing up and moving toward leaving home has been much harder on me than it has been on her. She’s twelve now, so we don’t have all that much longer together. Though the thought brings tears to my eyes, I relish seeing her moving forward in her life. And just like her first day of school, when I was tearing up and trying so hard to hide it, thinking how much I would miss her, she will turn to me and say with a huge smile on her face, “Bye-bye, Mama!” And when her back is turned, I’ll be the one crying. But I’ll be sending her into the world with the best armor I could provide – faith, love and kindness. That’s our job, though, isn’t it?

  5. ABH says:

    July 13th, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    Your opening paragraph gave me pause. I too thought that the ache of an empty nest would be softened by the time I would get to spend with my sweet husband. I did not plan on his dying at age 51. The nest is REALLY empty now and it is my choice whether to despair on a daily basis, or to make the choice to be happy anyway. My success with that depends on the day. But do not take for granted that which you cannot control. Base your happiness on yourself and your choices. Knowing you are ok no matter what will greatly enhance the joy your children will experience as they take flight – as they inevitably will.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment. First time users must register before logging in.