Light Refreshments Served

It was bound to happen: a Rachel who is not me is our guest blogger. Don’t get confused. But this new Rachel has also done something I have never done. She has borne children without painkillers. I am always very curious about this perspective and invite you to welcome it, and the “new” Rachel, this morning.

When I gave birth for the first time, I didn’t realize how lucky I was. Well, that might be subjective. I gave birth in Arizona in one of the first free standing birth centers there. It was a beautiful place that I felt comfortable in without the stark floors and drab walls of a hospital. All they did there were natural births…they knew how to help women with a natural birth. I was in 24 hours of labor in pain, and surprisingly enough I came away from that with a very positive view of birth and my abilities to give birth. At that time, I didn’t know that things were done differently at the hospital. I didn’t know that having a natural birth was something that most women did not do. So, I had my second there. With both of these births I found great meaning and application to my beginning life as a mother.

Then I moved and the birthing possibilities were not the same. It was either at home, which I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with, or in the hospital. I did not mind the hospital as much, but no one knew quite what to do with a woman who did not take pain medication. They simply had not had enough experience. It was at this point that I began to really explore why I still chose to have medication free births. Why would any of us choose to feel pain when it can easily be taken away? It’s a question that I’m not sure I can still answer, except to say that somehow, I have found meaning in that pain.

This exploration has also led me to write my own blog…one in which I have explored the meaning of pain, fear, becoming a mother, and how this applies to motherhood. Part of this exploration has also led me to explore art in the context of birth also. I have felt like the meaning in birth and motherhood can be very difficult to explain and touches on emotional aspects that can sometimes only be expressed by art, either in writing, painting, sewing etc. Explaining the joy that came to me is like trying to explain why seeing the smile on my child for the first time makes me so happy. It is one of those experiences that has the ability to touch the inner core of who we are as women. As such, sometimes the only way we can express this is through art.

I myself am not an artist, but I appreciate and enjoy looking at and experiencing other peoples art. As a part of my own exploration, I began collecting pieces that showed what birth and motherhood meant to them. You can find that on my blog.

I am still accepting more and see this an ongoing project, so if any of you would like to submit something send it my way. I would love to see how this process has changed you and how you have found meaning in your own roles as mothers.

I have mixed feelings about Scouting, but I kind of love it when I wake up to flags up and down my block. Today it’s for Veterans Day!

I think it is a little bit disingenuous when people say they support the troops but not the war. Unless you really do support the troops, by sending them letters or treats. Then you are off the hook. So here are some great ways to remember the troops over the holidays, via this cute blog with a touching post on what it means to be a military family. I know we are all grateful for what these families sacrifice so we can enjoy our way of life.

Treats for Troops: Sending Soldiers Packages

Any Solider. I really like this one because you can choose a specific soldier and send them what they request. Plus, they say that letters and e-mails are the best kind of support, and that makes me happy.

Military Cheer Packs

Give 2 the Troops

Troop Care Package. This woman in Pennsylvania accepts actual items in addition to money, which seems slightly more hands on than just writing a check or whipping out your credit card.

Please welcome Annie as our guest blogger this morning! She has her own charming blog here, with very possibly the best blog header I’ve ever seen, she likes Imogen Heap, and she and her husband recycle in a way that makes me feel… inadequate? Or ashamed? Or proud for them? I like her very much. Enjoy!

More about Annie in her own words:

I grew up all over the world, but I’ve ended up in lovely Provo (for now) with my husband and daughter. I love to write letters to her so we can both remember what things were like as she grows up. I hate yardwork, but I find weeding extremely satisfying. I love the color green in a sort of unhealthy way, I love Light Refreshments Served, and I aspire to someday own an Eames lounge chair. (I also love Rice Krispie treats–cropped out of that picture of me is a plate piled high with them…hence the big smile.)

A few things have been making me sad lately. I’m losing my hair like crazy, which is a normal postpartum thing, but it doesn’t make it any more pleasant to be able to see that huge mole on my head if I don’t pin my bangs just right. Also, we had to say goodbye to our broken TV. The replacement is lovely, but I sort of miss the old one that we inherited from my friend Catherine; it was a constant reminder of a lovely girl, and not having it is strangely like losing her to Australia all over again.

Just now, as I was trying to fall asleep and push these and other sad things out of my mind, I was reminded of something so completely unsad that I had to get up and write about it before the feelings left.

This time last year was dark. I was furious at my body for all the things it couldn’t seem to do correctly.

{Stop reading here if the word pee makes you uncomfortable.}

I wanted a baby…a lot. But my body and my doctor were telling me that would be really difficult. Every month we cried and mourned the “death” of the baby that never was. So about this time last year, I had decided to give up for awhile for the sake of my mental health, but I figured I might as well use up the last couple home pregnancy tests so they would stop torturing me with their stupid little potential negative signs. So this week last year, I dejectedly peed (if one can pee in a dejected manor…) on another stick, put it in the wrapper and set it on the floor to run its test and bleed yet another single blue line onto the screen. I wasn’t even going to look at it. I washed my hands and bent down to gather all my hopes and chuck them in the trash can. But of course, you know what happened. This time there were two lines…TWO. And they made a plus sign. How do you breathe after seeing something like that?

I went to work and tried to pretend like everything was normal. My husband was unreachable for the next few hours, so I felt like I was going to explode. I kept telling myself that maybe the test was wrong. It wasn’t wrong, and neither were the other many tests I took that week out of disbelief.

A year ago happiness looked like this:
And now she looks like this:

And I’m reminded of the millions of thing I have to be happy about, with or without my hair.

My husband’s kind of a tech geek, so we spend a fair amount of time on sites like Gizmodo, Lifehacker, and Engadget (He likes to browse communally. There’s a lot of “Honey, come look at this!”). One of his gadget sites sent me to a new (to me) site which will tranform your photo or graphic into 8 1/2″ x 11″ PDF pages for you to print and post. I tried it myself with my Facebook photo (see above) to be sure I wasn’t leading you astray. It was super simple, totally free, and I didn’t even have to give away my e-mail or firstborn child’s social security number. You just have to upload your picture and you even get to choose how big it is (how many sheets wide or tall).

I think this would be a great trick to fill a big empty wall in your house. Mount the printed pages on foam core for added stability. Or print your best friend’s face for a huge 40th birthday homage. Or a really rad bulletin board for the classroom or Primary room. The possibilities are endless.

I like the abstracted look, with space between each page, but you can also trim the unprintable area and mount it more seamlessly.

Why doesn’t Bit-O-Honey get the love? I am a chewy candy girl, and I love a fresh Bit-O-Honey over a mini Snickers any day. How about you?

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Tawnya writes a thoughtful and thought-provoking blog full of opinions (but NOT to a fault) and ideas about writing, music, fashion and politics (and adorable pics of her adorable little one). We’re pleased to share her with you this windy, busy Friday.

More about Tawnya in her own words:

I am a freelance writer from Utah. Well, from, by way of New Mexico, Idaho, Oregon and California. Wife of one (Isaac, an eye doctor), mother of an only (Sammy, 2), I am the rarest of rare in the Church: raising an only child and a registered Democrat and opinionated to a fault. I have a B.A. in Journalism and Public Relations and a Master’s in PoliSci is the most recent goal to shoot towards. I’m not crafty or clever, but I am a mean bargain shopper! Reading, TV, and Pringles usually round out my day.

A Reel Life

When I was little, it wasn’t so much about influence as entertainment.  I watched Condorman and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes in the theater, but I certainly didn’t come away with any lasting life changes from the viewings.  Well, except a litany of family jokes, but that’s not the point.  Other movies may be in the recesses of my mind, but none particularly stick out.  A lot of standard Disney fare for a child of the 70’s and 80’s, but nothing influential.

As I grew, I moved toward romantic media.  I was a complete romantic at age 14.  Since movies were a rare treat in my adolescence, I read everything I could get my hands on and had an overactive imagination.  I wanted Sidney Carton to come and profess undying love to me.  I watched romance unfold and somehow that made me feel better about being bookish and unpopular and helped fritter away the time until college.

Once I got to college I started taking movies more seriously.  Dates, outings to get my mind off school as well as social commentary; movies started taking on more meaning for me.  It still can’t watch Strictly Ballroom without thinking of my sophomore year.  Or 8 Seconds without thinking of the boys I hung around.  I remember watching The Three Musketeers with my roommates and friends one afternoon and feeling decadent that I was splurging on a dollar movie.  I have only ever walked out on one movie in my life and that was at the same theater later that same year.

I’m not sure why, but certain movies speak to me and help me, as a writer, be creative in ways I couldn’t get anywhere else.  Sometimes a film sparks me to writing immediately.  Other times it stays with me and the feelings I had while watching cause scenes from my stories to play out over months or years until I can commit it to paper in just the right way.  I watch Possession and immediately feel the need to research more into the life of Henry VIII and work it into a modern short story.  I watch Under the Tuscan Sun and the slow build of personal narratives haunt my brain for months.  Sticky notes of ideas follow from watching Reality Bites, The Whole Wide World, The Philadelphia Story, The Truman Show and Sliding Doors.

However, in my life, movies aren’t always about the creative process.  Sometimes memories will attach themselves to films, for better or worse.

Our first date (was it our first?  I can’t remember…) was amazing.  He made me crepes and we watched The Odd Couple.  We had a love of old movies and spent a good portion of the next three years held up somewhere watching old movies.  Every weekend we would rent a stack, grab a container of Chips Ahoy and love the days spent without a care in the world.  I fully developed my love of Myrna Loy and William Powell during those years.  Since the divorce, however, I have a hard time watching the movies we both loved.  A few have escaped and are still on neutral territory, but anytime I see a clip or sound bite from The Odd Couple, I can’t help but think of our first date, how he called me Felix from then on and how that night we were standing on the precipice of great happiness.  Viewing certain films from that time in my life, now, brings great heartache.  Not creativity.

Luckily, for every movie that attaches to a less than thrilling memory, I have spades more that are attached to good.  Watching Gattaca with my now husband on our first date.  Sitting in the theater for the third viewing of City of Angels and feeling great hope that I would find love again.  Movies in the middle of the afternoon while we lived in Portland just because we could.  Matinees with my girlfriends who are now far away.  Horton Hears a Who; my son’s first movie in a theater.

Media is all around me and will always be a big part of my life.  For some reason it binds with my memories and is how I categorize eras of my life.  Good, bad, creative or not.

Taryn of Kennewick, Washington is the winner of a box of brownies from Blissful Brownies. She chose raspberry. Do you think she chose well?

Congrats, Taryn!

A while ago we posted on Morning Stories from WGBH in Boston. Now, via my sister’s blog (you might remember her from her guest post), a nice essay titled Creating Our Own Happiness by Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips, part of an NPR project.

It hits just the right note for me today, amid the glum financial news, the coming winter, and an election year that has been so emotionally brutal that I want to curl up in my comforter for a week. Is it just me?

Emily

My favorite thing to see at Halloween is a homemade costume—not an elaborate getup produced by a seamstress mother who could have clothed all the extras in The Ten Commandments, but an outfit in which the child has obviously had some input. For example, when I was in fourth or fifth grade, I spent weeks helping color and cut out autumn leaves to be pinned on a skirt for my older sister’s self-conceived portrayal of Mother Nature. Some of my happiest Halloween memories are of foraging through the dress-up box looking for costume elements. The personal creativity of expression was part of the magic of the holiday for me.

Kristy

I love caramel apples this time of year, but I find a whole apple difficult to manage when eating.  So my preferred method is to make a caramel dip that tastes much better than a store bought container and is really easy to make.  Plus, it helps accomplish the delicate yet important balance of your apple to caramel ratio.  Bonus!  Simply mix 8 ozs of softened cream cheese with ¾ cup brown sugar, ¼ cup white sugar, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla.  Overachievers might like to add nuts or chopped heath bars, but I prefer the pure, unadulterated caramel taste!  Either way, your taste buds will thank you.

Kacy

My best Halloween memory is when I went trick or treating with my friend Rachel. It would be our last year to trick or treat. I showed up at her house and she was wearing her mother’s red button down silk shirt (and by silk I mean polyester) and a pair of red pantyhose. She was creating two horns on the top of her head with her hair and a lot of hairspray. That was her costume–the devil. She didn’t wear any pants.

Lisa

Our Halloween season, because, yes, it’s a season, begins on the first day of October and reluctantly closes on November 1st.  I have more Halloween decorations than Christmas decorations, which may suggest a strong pagan influence in my home, but we all know the Christians merged with pagan rituals in this great land of ours, and the result is a glop of carved produce and spooky art, ending in a sugar-induced coma.  Good times.  What says Halloween more than “All I got was a rock. . .”?

Maybe “Whose that coming down the street?  Are they shovels, or are they feet?”

Watching Charlie Brown’s Halloween and Ichabod Crane are big traditions our kids look forward to most around Halloween.  Almost more than Owen’s vomit dance.  Almost.

*Editor’s Note: The Great Pumpkin is on ABC tonight. Check your local listings and set your Tivo/DVR.

Remember Lisa’s Ode to Brownies? Well, here they are. LRS is giving away a twelve-brownie box of Blissful Brownies. You’ll even have a chance to choose your flavor: Classic Chocolate, Chocolate Coconut, Chocolate Raspberry, German Chocolate, Chocolate Peanut Butter, Chocolate Orange (pictured), Pumpkin Spice, Peppermint Candy, Chocolate Caramel, or Chocolate Walnut.

How can you get involved in such a mouth-watering, delicious giveaway? Just leave a comment below by midnight MST on October 29. Your brownies will probably arrive just in time to remind you what good chocolate tastes like (as opposed to the waxy stuff the kids get on Halloween).

We have a winner for the brownie giveaway! Stay tuned and check your e-mail…

You may soon be able to get a copy of your Patriarchal blessing online. Which is somewhat different from getting your patriarchal blessing online (that would have a distinctly drive-through-wedding-chapel flavor, I think). I love it when the LDS church is tech savvy.