Light Refreshments Served

I really enjoyed this recent General Conference because it seemed like there were a lot of talks that really spoke specifically to me. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way, but somehow (maybe it was because I actually paused the live tv–YEAH TECHNOLOGY–when I couldn’t hear something, or had to yell at my kids to “BE QUIET SO WE CAN LISTEN TO THE PROPHET FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!”) I came away with a lot of food for thought.

Side Note: I really think it’s important to eat well during Conference Weekend. Saturday AND Sunday. I believe this with all my heart. I think it has something to do with nourishing both body and spirit, or so I’ll say. What did I eat? Saturday was junk food like chips and dips and out to dinner Saturday night. Sunday was homemade cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting, a variety of hours de vours for lunch (the frozen kind because, hey, I just made cinnamon rolls), and a roast turkey dinner with garlic mashed potatoes for dinner (did you know you can put a turkey breast in the crock pot with a package of dry onion soup and seven hours later you’re in tryptophan coma? Delightful!)

This is what I’ve been thinking about, in list form (Some of my notes are incomplete–I blame the children and the turkey. Sorry, some of the quotes are unattributed, which is bad. Sorry.) These are the quotes/lines/inspiration that will direct me in the way I teach my kids and study the scriptures over the next six months:

We must also teach children that they are accountable for their time and their talents.

Having religious observance in the home is as important as providing food, clothing, shelter.

“For 179 years this book has been examined and attacked, denied and deconstructed, targeted and torn apart like perhaps no other book in modern religious history — perhaps like no other book in any religious history — and still it stands.” Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said,

No evil man could write such a thing and no good man would, except commanded to do so and aided by God. (Holland)

If they leave this church, they must leave by crawling under or around or over Book of Mormon. (Holland)

Unless we serve others, there is little purpose in our own lives. President Monson

True revelation is always compatible with His eternal law and never contradicts His doctrine.

A hypocritical example destroys credibility.

True followers of Christ will be like him and so will recognize him for what he is when he comes.

The quality of your life will be improved simply be remembering your parents with honor.

“Honor thy parents that thy days may be long upon the land” only 1 of the 10 commandments with a promise attached.

“Try to show kindness in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and thought. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love.” President Eyring

“We are surrounded by those in need of our attention, our encouragement, our support, our comfort, our kindness.” President Monson.

Love is the healing balm that repairs rifts in personal and family relationships. It is the bond that unites families, communities and nations. Love is the power that initiates friendship, tolerance, civility and respect. It is the source that overcomes divisiveness and hate. Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy and divine hope. Love should be our walk and our talk. President Uchtdorf

When one understands what it means to love as Jesus Christ loves mortals, “the confusion clears and our priorities align. Our walk as disciples of Christ becomes more joyful. Our lives take on new meaning. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes more profound. Obedience becomes a joy rather than a burden.” President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Of course there is more. This is just some food for thought.

I don’t know who is playing in the Super Bowl. I’m sure I’ve heard the names on Access Hollywood or the news or something, but the names of the teams means nothing to me so it doesn’t register. And please don’t leave a comment below naming those teams. I don’t care. I wish them both well, but if a football game is not on Friday Night Lights, I won’t pay attention. I try not to think “it’s just a dumb game” even though I really don’t understand why people get so excited about it. I imagine that this is the way many people feel when they hear about the Oscars. I just stop and think about how much I love to fill out Topher’s annual Academy Awards Ballots and judge what people are wearing on the red carpet, and I have empathy for the sports people. I mean, the outfits they wear are all the same, but, whatever.

What I do love about the Super Bowl is the food. I love the ritual food preparation and social gathering. Add to that the inviting displays at the grocery stores and the media’s relentless reminder to buy more pizza and it’s all very touching. It makes me feel part of something. Something communal. Something bigger than myself. Something that tastes like buffalo wings and blue cheese. I can’t stomach the game, but I can stomach the food.

Acting and football have a lot in common: a lot of training goes it to each craft, some luck, some good looks, lots of sweating, uncomfortable moments, and exorbitant salaries sprinkled here and there for a few. That, and two great reasons for me to buy Nacho Cheese Doritos.

It seems that my one year-old and I have the opposite problem.  At her one year check up I was told she needed to “fatten up.”  I was instructed to give her more whole milk, bathe her food in butter and add olive oil to her food.  Somehow everything becomes painfully clear as you are buttering up a piece of toast for your chunky baby, while going through the most unnatural process of spraying artificial butter substitute sparsely on yours.  And if I haven’t said it before, “Yes, I can believe it’s not butter.”  Turns out my dad was right:  Life’s not fair–Get used to it.  

Margaret just sits there all day, bless her.  I put her on the floor and she will sometimes roll around when she needs something.  But she’s not particularly a physically active baby.  She’s healthy and nothing’s wrong with her, my mother heart tells me, she just has a cushy life-style and is taking her time.  She sleeps through the night, naps twice a day, eats about five times a day, and she needs to eat more.  Of the good stuff.  Mothering is hard.

I’m not one for diets.  If I feel the slightest sense of deprivation, it only hightens my ability to smell french fries and fine tunes my talent to visualize different varieties of brownies.  (My gifts that I hope one day to bring to the world.)  So I try to eat less, and exercise more.  Which usually translates to exercise more so I can eat more.  It’s just so hard when I’m fixing food all day.  And that’s not a hyperbole.  I make three meals a day and two snacks, in my mind, but the snacks are at different times for different kids. The baby needs a bottle before her nap, the kids want a snack after school, and Hugh wants a snack every 20 minutes.  Even when I refuse, he’s asking me for one, or bugging me for one, or getting one himself.  It puts a lot of focus on food.  I’m not a short order cook kinda mom (my motto:  This is what we’re having for dinner.  You don’t have to eat it, but I’m not making anything else, so it’s all you’ve got until breakfast. . .),  but it adds up.  If you count meals, snacks,  and bottles, I calculated that I made or supervised and cleaned-up 11 food-related sessions today.   I think about food a lot.  

My plan is to not diet, but eat a little less and really exercise a lot mostly by lugging Margaret around–assuming she sticks to her goal of gaining weight, of course.  (Otherwise, losing weight is really out of my hands.)  Wish me luck!  Margaret’s plan is to stuff her face and eat more sugar which is a good example of how we all have our burdens to bear.  But you know how they say if you dumped everyone’s problems out of a bag into the middle of the floor, that we would all pick our own problems up again?  I’m not so sure I wouldn’t just grab Margaret’s right now.  So if I can get rid of some of my baby weight over the next few months and somehow transfer it to Margaret, we will both get to have our cake and eat it, too.  So to speak, anyway.

 ”What’s cake?”

 ”I seem to be genetically predisposed to consume this.”

  ”Do you want some?  Oh, that’s right. . . you’re not having any. . . my bad.”

. . . seven favorite holiday foods I enjoy:

1.  Dark chocolate mint truffles.  Growing up my mother always had chocolate covered cherries on Christmas, so they always remind me of her.  She rarely indulges in things like that, so that was “her treat.”  A couple of years ago I explicitly told Topher that I should have dark chocolate mint truffles every Christmas as “my treat.”  I do indulge more than once a year, however.

2.  Butter.  Real butter is one life’s greatest treasures, don’t you think?  On rolls, in potatoes, on everything.  You can’t have margarine or “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” spray (a Valentine family favorite) on Christmas.  It’s not right.  The only thing better is clotted cream (which is a mixture of butter and cream dancing on a magical cloud), but that’s too hard to make.  

3.  Christmas casserole.  This is that recipe that has bread, sausage, cheese, eggs, milk, etc and you bake it all up nice and gooey.  Topher and I have tried to enforce this foody tradition on our kids, but they hate it.  I gave it up last year in an emotional 9 month pregnant desperate outburst  (There may or may not have been a fight about it.  There may or may not have been tears. . .over eggs, sausage and cheese, people.  Don’t underestimate the power of food to a pregnant woman.), but it still reminds me of Christmas and I still love it.  I might try it again in a few years as my children’s palate becomes a little more sophisticated, or, then again, I’ll probably just set out some cinnamon rolls and call it good.  (It’s like this recipe here)

4.  Trifle.  It’s so Christmasy and English and reminds me of our lovely Christmas in England.  If I could just get my hands on some Bird’s custard, it would be perfect.  Using vanilla pudding instead of the real custard (I know, I know I could make it, but it takes so many eggs. . .and time and tempering and stuff like that) is like using generic butter spray (see #2) instead of real butter.  I might try this lemony one.

5.  Warm breads.  This is the time to bake.  Or thaw that pre-made, frozen dough.  That’s what Christmas is all about, Suzi.

6.  Toffee.  I don’t think I have toffee (covered in chocolate, of course) at any other time of the year.  I’m going to have to really rethink that.

7.  Cran-Raspberry juice with Diet Sprite.  I love this combination.  Trust me on it, even the diet soda part.  Combine it with a lot of pebble ice and well, you’re welcome.  We had it all the time growing up and that’s what I want to drink on Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I’m not even getting paid by Sprite to say that (although I would gladly take their money.  Or a six pack.  Or seven.)

Dear Makers of “A Taste Of Thai: Pad Thai Noodles”:

 In what mad burst of whimsy do you suppose that the purchaser of your “Quick Meal–Ready in 4 Minutes” intends to share this bowl of noodles with someone else? If it actually contains two servings, why do you promote (right on the carton) an ancillary product labeled “Pad Thai for Two”? Just how many servings does THAT container contain?

I see right through you, you know. I know that you just don’t want to admit in print that this is a nearly-500-calorie lunch. By suggesting that a “serving” really only has 240 calories, but that you can’t control it if I choose to be a glutton and ingest the entire carton, you seem to be making a feeble attempt to absolve yourself of responsibility for my weight. It’s not going to work. I bought the lunch. I nuked the lunch. And I’m eating the lunch–the whole thing.

I hope you can sleep tonight.

–An Aggrieved Consumer

P.S. I’m topping it off with one “big cookie.” Calories per serving: 150. Servings per container: 4.