Light Refreshments Served

I went to Miles’ Maturation Program at school which consisted of the coach from the middle school coming to explain to a room of pre-pubescent 5th grade boys and their parents changes that will soon happen to their bodies through several sports analogies.  This was a really difficult social setting for me because I counted seven really funny but inappropriate things to say at just the perfect time, but I didn’t.  I didn’t want to embarrass Miles, so I controlled myself.  I know it’s awful to brag about funny things you were going to say, but didn’t, and then not share them, but it’s 5th grade humor and if we’re asking the boys to control themselves, I think I can show a little restraint.  Besides, the moments have passed.  I figured it was a small price to pay to get, you know, “the word out.”

I was prepared for the big sex talk in this maturation program, but was surprised at how sterile it was (pun intended).  Talk about taking the “sex” out of “sex education!”  When the discussion got to anything like that it was “your parents will need to talk to you about that” or “ask your parents about this.”  Like I don’t have enough to do!  Or enough awkward conversations!  The overall theme of the program turned out to be “using deodorant.”  It was a really well-covered area.  How much to use, when, how important it is, how much you’ll smell if you don’t, etc.  and then the speaker handed out deodorant.  And told them to wash their hands a lot and brush their teeth.  

Call me old-fashioned, but when did the “Maturation Program” turn into a plain old push for personal hygiene?  Aren’t we supposed to be talking about. . .uh hem. . .things I’m uncomfortable talking about with my 5th grader or blogging about on my lady blog?  

Looking on the bright side, Miles should really be using deodorant and should be brushing his teeth and washing his hands more than he is.  It’s nice when someone else nags him about the importance of doing those things.  It really does take a village.  A nice, clean, sweet-smelling village.